Monday, December 1, 2008

New Tape Letter #1

I am writing a series of mock Screwtape Letters for a class in Theology. The letters all have to focus on Eschatology (the end of the world). Also, I am in the process of uploading the videos of Conner's Baptism to youtube. I'll post'em here when they are done.



Dearest Wormwood,
It seems that your patient has become heavily involved with our Great Enemies organization. This is most disappointing, but it is not the end of the road for you. While we cannot take him away from the Good One, we can sidetrack him. One of the easiest areas to get the new convert distracted with is the “inevitable end”. I know you are trained not to think about this, but young Wormwood, desperate times call for desperate measures.




If you are to successfully derail the patient, there are two thankful options for this maneuver. One the one hand, you can make sure the patient steers completely clear of talking about the apocalypse. Convince him that John’s detestable metaphor is too difficult to understand. This apathy could easily spread to other areas. If the Revelation of John is too difficult, so is that detestable account by the tax collector. The publican often quotes Jesus and his sermons on the end and from there the apathy may be a foothold for doubt in general. Though we cannot completely take him from our enemy, we can render him useless with this tactic.

The other option, I have found, is even more powerful. Fanaticism can actually be an incredibly powerful tool in our hands. Mind yourself if you decide to pursue this course. It is terribly risky, but can be terribly rewarding. We in upper management have been working on this track for many years. We have planted seeds that have distracted His followers from many of the main points of His teaching. These seeds primarily result in endless searches of that evil book. The beauty of this is that the patients are not looking to experience that detestable Spirit, rather they are looking for proverbial bread crumbs to bolster a view that we have planted amongst the ranks of the so called faithful. Encourage you patient to read and be involved in endless speculation regarding the end of days. In doing so, he will become so engrossed in this study that he will never come out. We have promulgated much literature to this end in their bookstores. This endless (excuse my pun, nephew) study of the end times can actually cripple his development and be a great victory for you.

Above all, dear Wormwood, make this a cerebral exercise. Your patient must never begin to see that any of this information can affect his daily life. If you allow him to live out these nefarious truths the last state will be worse than the first. You must keep this on the level of unbridled, unthinking fanaticism, not on action. If you must allow for action, make sure is simply arguing with others on this topic. In fact, it may wise to consult our mutual friend, Absinthe. I believe he is working with a patient along this track. If they were to meet and strongly disagree, we may have a real plot! This could be the beginning of years of distraction for your subject, if you play your cards right.

Smirking in anticipation of Demise,
Your Uncle, Newtape

2 comments:

JackthePirate said...

Ouch. I almost expected there to be a chart reference.

Tim Melton said...

By the way...I read this a while back and read it again this morning. I keep neglecting to tell you due to a forgetful mind, but, Justin, this is excellent stuff. You need to do more of this.